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Wild pigs are menacing the infernal realms just as they are our world! You hadn't heard? Yes, it's true! There was this really long article in the newspaper about it. Formerly domesticated pigs that have escaped or have been released into the wild are breeding like rabbits and terrorizing large parts of the Canadian and American Midwest. No, it wasn't an article in The Onion and no, I didn't read it online. The wild pigs stole Shakira's purse! It's true! It was all in this newspaper article. Satan tells you all about it in this issue! What? I guess he reads the same newspaper that I do. Thanks a lot, now I don't have room to tell you about Hortense the Mother of All Living and the 12-foot Infernal Disney World animatronic Jiminy Hoffa Cricket!
